Raincheck

It's been almost a week that I've been kicking my legs and trolling people on Facebook, living the simple unproductive life that I think I have earned thus far. I gave away my flight to London for off-days sufficient to take my mum on a full-expense-paid holiday with me, anywhere in the world she chose BUT instead my mother chose to go home (state of Pahang!). I thought I'd go to Bangkok to surprise my long lost best friend who married there and just had her first child but news just had to go the opposite direction of the flow. Flooding and bomb threats in Bangkok left me thinking otherwise. Following that, I thought I could drag my younger brother with me to Bali for the long yearned massages but even he was too busy to entertain my calls. Well, of course I could have travelled alone but I do that enough during working flights. So, I sat back and enjoyed my stay home. It was like a recuperation period for me seeing that I have been in and out of hospitals so often this year. The number of needle marks left in my arms from IV drips and all sorts of blood tests leave me looking like an addict (though I'm still the chubby bubbly me in real). 

This job has really taken a toll on me. From the start, I knew it was going to be physically challenging for me, not only in terms of my vertical frame but also because my stamina and body's defense has always been at a low. The sleepless nights, long flights and weird eating habits that I eventually developed (eat a bite-work-eat another bite-work-get fed up of eating-still work). Not to mention the sleeping habits; I have to stay up one or two nights just to sleep soundly the next night and then its back to nights with insomnia. Weather has been the worst friend to me as well. Raging icy cold snowy weather outside, then walking back to a hotel bed in a warm (if not hot) dehydratingly dry and stuffy room. A very easy way of either catching the cold/flu, dehydration, fever or just plain discomfort which eventually leads to one of the mentioned.

I have never said that any job should be enjoyed, after all it is called work for good reason but to certain extents, I enjoy the job perks. Who wouldn't enjoy flying to London for tea and scones one week and the next week be tanning on the beaches in Male (Maldives)? Free entrance into many clubs worldwide and discounts on local treats to be brought home. I love(d) my job; meeting people, coming to terms with adventures, seeing the world, understanding self-dependence. There has to be an end though; all good things come to an end, am I right? The end of being surprised in meeting all sorts of people, seeing enough of the world alone, being too independent that it starts to feel lonely. Thats only my take, others have different opinions that I respect. All in all, I hate that my job is making me feel less than what I should feel; normal, healthy and happy. 

I don't want vampire sleeping hours, I don't want gastric attacks for eating at weird hours and I certainly don't want to be taken for granted at work anymore. This life will end one day and I know I will look back, not in regret but proud I chose this path to prove to myself and others that I would take up the two years that they never believed I would finish and  throw it back in their faces. After that, I will walk away knowing that I have lived the life many wanted to live and still like my mum, chose the better; home. 

It's close to the big two now, about time to start planning other big plans. For now though, Ill pack my bags and give my all to get my way to Paris and then it's picnic by the Eiffel Tower and Ill be counting the days to go home for Christmas. See you soon loves!